Lo Vueno

Closing the circle…a lesson in impermanence.

Some lessons we learn in life are fairly straightforward, they offer essential knowledge and serve to benefit the pupil receiving the lesson. The majority of them are for the most part, good and leave one with insight that we can use later on in life. But then there are some that while imparting vital wisdom, they also exact a heavy cost. The lesson of impermanence is an example of this. Like a fine sword, if handled unskillfully, it can inflict a painfully wise lesson. I have reached a point in life where I can no longer cower from this very real aspect of life. I have seen it manifest itself in many ways, and with every instance, another drop of wisdom.

Loyal Olivia…

Olivia was a hearty dog, a wonderful companion dear to everyone in my house whose presence made this house feel more like a home. A longtime resident of this home, she was actually born here. Her mom Coco and her dad Benny also lived under our roof and filled the house with a loving canine essence that made our life happy for many years. She was part of an accidental litter, one of seven beautiful fluffy white puppies. Half Maltese and half Bichon, she wound up being the only puppy that remained at home from that litter. Our little Malti-chon, Olivia lived in our home for 15 years. Sadly, our little lady passed away on 1/2/24. The ravages of old age had finally caught up with her…and with me as the reality of just how fleeting life can be stared straight into my eyes unforgivingly.

For 15 years Olivia was part of our family, as well as part of her canine sub family. She was the puppy for so many years. She was born in April of 2008, about a year and a half after my baby girl Annelise was born. They were the babies of the house and watching them grow up together was a wonderful thing to witness. No matter how many animals were brought to the house, she always maintained her place in the hierarchy. Any new addition to the family, she would accept into her life and the home, happily coexisting with them.

She was the house dog….not the loudest, or the most playful, or the most obedient, but she was always there. She occupied a very stable and consistent position in our lives. We knew her favorite spots to nap, her favorite human food to snack on and her favorite spots to have an accident when she was home for too long. So not hearing her paws walk around the house or not seeing her come in the kitchen anymore to ask for her pasta is a difficult change to accept. The awareness of her absence intensifies the longing for more memories of her. Many times, it would be just Olivia, along with her sisters Chai and Suki on the couch watching some show until we would all fall fast asleep. She was a true companion for all the years she lived with us. She outlived her parents both by 2 years. This is why when we began to see signs of her age related decline, we did our best to keep her comfortable and well. Although we had taken her to the Vet, we realized that there is no shot or medicine for old age. We just had to take things day by day and enjoy them as the moments passed. As 2023 slowly reached its end, it was apparent that things were not getting any better and she was showing signs of life just being too much for her. Being the tough and sturdy dog that she was, she continued to hang on, but her essence was diminishing right before our eyes.

Closing the circle.

This part of the truth of impermanence is never easy or as painless as we try to envision it to be. It always stings to the core and pains the heart. When the circumstances of life change to the degree where the finality of death presents itself, how does one embrace this, accept this or attempt to be comfortable with this most uncomfortable of realities? How can you be at peace with it? Saying your last goodbye to a loved one is the pinnacle moment where the lesson of impermanence hits with its full weight and strength. This very final manifestation of change cannot be undone.

This final goodbye was not easy for anyone. Having lived with us for so long ensured that we all were able to create beautiful memories of her. She interacted with everyone in some way and those moments are what we now have to re-visit whenever we feel the absence of her prescence. Like in the poem “The Dash” by Linda Ellis, her life consisted of moments and interactions that all summed up the composition of her life with us…we all look back on these, reminiscing hoping that she felt the same happiness during those moments as we did. We hope that by closing the circle of her life, we retain those memories as precious treasures of our love for her, and that this indelible truth of life, of change and impermanence is in some way eased by such nostalgia.

Mandali…a gift to cherish.

Our Italian experience was wonderful, moving and most of all, enlightening. We exposed ourselves to a European culture that has influenced so many aspects of the world in general. We went wide eyed and hungry for an authentic adventure and eager to make unforgettable memories. Thankfully all of this was achieved…but what was most welcome and needed was an escape from our routine. A few precious days to pause for self reflection and inward relaxation. Our next destination was Mandali, a meditation retreat center perched high in the mountains of northern Italy. Carmen and I came to Italy looking, and longing for some peace and tranquility…and we found it.

A Retreat to North Italy

Located up in the mountains overlooking Lake D’Orta, Mandali is a tranquil meditation retreat next to a quaint and slow paced town called Quarna Sopra in the Piedmont region of Italy. This retreat was planned before COVID-19 struck and was postponed several times. While we waited for the world to be somewhat safe again, we filled our heads with daydreams of the retreat and what this part of Italy would be like. In a way, this pandemic imposed “exercise in patience” was one of the things that kept us going through the tough times. When the day finally came to test our expectations to the reality…we were not disappointed.

So far our Italian adventure had opened our eyes to so many wonderful and extraordinary experiences. From the historic charm of Firenze (Florence), to the rustic and natural beauty of Cinque Terre and the coastline of the Ligurian Sea. We did all we could to soak it up entirely and make lasting memories. The time had come to slow down and move on to another region of Italy and another experience. This meant getting back on the trains and making our way up north, to the mountainous region of Italy. So we packed all of our stuff, said goodbye to Florence and got on our way. We had to make one connection at Milano Centrale to a regional train going to Verbania that unfortunately left late…not surprising in Italy, but “it’s ok” (spoken with an Italian accent). The route would take us along Lake Maggiore and a driver would collect us from the station in Verbania and take us the rest of the way to Mandali. The train ride along the lake was amazing. It was like a scene from a movie…beautiful lakeside towns with breathtaking views of this magnificent lake!!

Nervously we got off of the train late at the Verbania station and looked for the driver holding the Mandali sign. After spotting him, I used the loose Italian I knew to confirm with him that we were the guests he was waiting on. We shared the car with one other guest and like this our Mandali retreat experience began. The drive would take us about 25 minutes from Verbania to another lakeside town, Omegna and from there up the switchback road up the mountain to our destination. As we drove we saw how different this part of Italy was. The mountain ranges were a constant companion at every turn. The majestic mountains were a beautiful backdrop to this region of Italy. It was nice to see that even the people in Omegna were friendly as you can see by the lovely man holding up a heart symbol with his hands while Carmen took pictures of the town from the car. We were entering the slow and friendly zone…life moved at a different pace in this part of the world. Thank goodness!

As the driver expertly negotiated hairpin turns, narrow streets and the steep switchback roads that took us up the mountain to Mandali, we slowly saw the town of Omegna get smaller and smaller the higher we went. Even after most of the climb was done, we had to go through two towns, Quarna Soto and Quarna Sopra, both of which were wonderful examples of mature rustic towns, perched high up in the mountain that have persisted through these modern times. Mandali is situated next to Quarna Sopra, the “smaller” of the small towns. Once the driver reached the main entrance, we were welcomed by amethyst studded walls that led to a flower covered walkway. It didn’t seem real at first…the walkway led to the main building where we checked in, met the staff and got assigned our room key. We had a hermitage meant for four people all to ourselves. As we walked around getting familiar with the rest of the compound, we were deeply moved by the fact that our eyes were witnessing the awe inspiring views and feeling the serene calm that Mandali exudes. Like curious children, we explored, occasionally looking at each other making sure it was all real, even though we seemed to be dreaming.

The Mandali experience

Carmen and I decided to have this experience prior to COVID. Times were a little different then, a little more carefree and “normal” if there is such a thing. Although we, along with mostly everything else were different now, we continued to have this longing for an adventure, and experience that was unique and unalike to our life at home. Perhaps something a little exotic, but certainly an experience unlike anything we have done before. Mandali was just this and more.

The entire experience cannot be summed up or detailed to the point of properly conveying the depth and profundity of the time spent there…saying that it was one of the most amazing times in my life is a true understatement. The sense of peace was so overwhelming and at the same time the giddy anxious feeling of trying something new or meeting someone new was there too. Mandali needs to be experienced in order to fully appreciate its beneficial effects.

The property was lovely, simple and tranquil, similar to the town it is neighbors with. The walkway from the main entrance became a central path that lazily bisected the buildings that housed the guest rooms. Large stones were used for both the path and the building structures. About halfway there was a crossing path that took you down to the edge of the mountainside and to the main building where the office, spa, pool, sauna, cafeteria and library are. If you turned left it would take you to the temple, various sitting areas, and further up a lotus pond, herb garden and meditation path. The entirety of the property had a Goldilocks feel to it…it was just the right size for its intended purpose.

The next five days did have a structure to them with activities spread out throughout the day. Yoga and meditation sessions were on the agenda every day, but one of the most interestingly different activities was “silent” breakfast. Yes…silent! At first we weren’t really sure how this would work, and like a knee jerk reaction, we immediately thought of people we knew who would undoubtedly fail miserably at this. But it worked…more on this later. Carmen and I absorbed the schedule for the next few days, finished exploring the grounds and finally settled in. Although we arrived late, we were received graciously by the staff and found time to ease into our retreat, getting familiar with Mandali, the lovely people and a special treat, one of the resident cats named Barolo! A very friendly cat who turned out to be a gracious host!

The next day’s most anticipated activity was a hike through the village and the surrounding trails that was to be led by one of the village locals. This was after morning yoga and our first silent breakfast. Breakfast was lovely! We had seen videos about the food and the kitchen staff online and we were very eager to experience it for ourselves. The food was laid out buffet style and everything was fresh as well as locally procured. The silence was deafening…the only thing to be heard was the clattering coming out of the kitchen. We served ourselves, looked for a place to eat and simply chewed our food as we looked around awkwardly at everyone enjoying their breakfast while in blissful silence. I say blissful because we realized that no matter where you sat to eat breakfast, the breathtaking view of the mountains and the lake left everyone speechless…an ideal setting for silent breakfast.

The hike promised to be fun partly because we had to leave the Mandali property and walk through the town of Quarna Sopra to get to the trails. It was a very authentic experience, starting with the guide, who was very straightforward and no frills. I don’t even remember hearing him tell us his name. He literally just showed up and at the determined time asked the group that had gathered outside the main building if we were ready to go, and off we went…”andiamo”. We left the Mandali property and headed towards the town. The town was just as I had imagined it. Old dwellings, cobble stoned streets, rustic charms and quiet…very quiet. We followed our guide through the streets of the town until we got to the outskirts, where the forest trails start. The hike was refreshing and enlivening since it was in the morning. Walking deeper and deeper into the lush green of the mountain woods was a kind of foreshadowing for the meditative sessions that we were there to experience. The trail was challenging, full of hidden beauty and surprises along the way (herd of free range goats) and was a great icebreaker for us all.

This was a great way for us to delve deeper into our tranquil retreat. From here we had so much to do to keep us busy and had the option to do nothing at all if we so chose. Carmen and I decided to enjoy our precious time, rest, relax and bask in the mountain air simply being. At times we did things together, and other times we were on our own. It was our chance to practice some self care on an individual level and as a unit. Thankfully Mandali had something for the both of us to help us open our minds and hearts. Over the next few day we explored Mandali as well as ourselves. We moved at a slower pace. At times spontaneous and other more deliberate but always looking for the beauty that is so often overlooked and under appreciated.

Our mediation sessions were under the guidance of GIJS FERMIE. A very lovely person who has the ability to capture the room with his voice and overall presence. During the course of the retreat, he carefully drew us deeper into the meditative forest of calm, feelings, sensations and helped us all better appreciate the space we occupy as well as the space within. We would meet every day in the beautiful Mandali temple, and through exercises of awareness, to the incorporation of movements as well as focused mantra, he gifted us the tools that we would need to quiet the mind when we returned to our homes and stressful routines. The practice often spilled into the other activities that we enjoyed while at the retreat. As a result, the concept of calm and tranquility was ever present. Selfless gratitude and an uncomplicated awareness were the crux of the meditation sessions.

One such time that I can remember how the essence of meditation manifested its way into my everyday was when I visited the pool at Mandali. The body care center, where the pool and spa are located feel so serene and restorative. One day I decided to take a swim and give my body and lungs a bit of a work out. As I swam, I made a very conscious effort to remain present, enjoy the moment and to realize that moment fully. In a way, I was training myself to move forward enjoying the seemingly mundane little things about life…the present and the now. Once I finished a lap across the pool, I would pause, letting the water still itself. I noticed that no matter how still I remained, there was a ripple in the water. I attempted again at the other side of the pool, noticing the same…as I stood there at the edge, in my stillness I looked down at the water and noticed that the source of the ripples was coming from the beating of my heart. The water and my chest were in line and with every beat of my heart, a wave emanated. I realized that moment as an opportunity to meditate on how even simply being, we emanate the love and kindness that resides within our hearts. Something that could so easily be overlooked, now took on a profound sentiment.

Now this experience wasn’t just for Carmen and myself….no, we were among others. The uneasy diffidence and excitement of being part of a group retreat was one of the most thrilling things about the whole experience. Meeting new people from different parts of the world, and sharing in this restorative process was simply awesome. We were lucky enough to to be able to experience this retreat among a very European group and perspective. This was very refreshing as we were the only Americans in this group. As we gradually became more comfortable, we overcame the challenges of language, posturing and shyness present among the attendees of the retreat. We relied on smiles, curiosity and the small dose of bravery needed to approach someone new in a common setting. We had to make friends in a very organic way!

The day we arrived, we weren’t the only ones to arrive a little late, so we had our own “late arrival” welcome session. As our week progressed and we got out and about, we just so happened to become friendly with two people that were in that late arrival session. Perhaps having that in common helped us gradually become friendlier with each other. Berndt and Cecilia turned out to be two of the loveliest people we have ever met. Both as different from us as can be. Northern Europeans, Berndt originally from Holland and Cecilia from Sweden, we shared laughs, smiles and such interesting conversation! Being able to share this Mandali experience and connection with them was one of the ingredients that certainly helped make the experience magnificent.

We met almost everywhere…had breakfast together, went to yoga and meditation classes together, recharged at the wellness spa or just sat on the mountain side deck and enjoyed some tea. It was so enjoyable being able to push the envelope of our comfort zone and soak up the richness of the setting, culture and newness of it all…and the icing on the “Italian adventure” Panettone was meeting the many new faces at Mandali. We relished in the many opportunities and made the most of it! Like for example when Carmen, Berndt, Cecilia and I decided to take off into the village and explore.

This little excursion, done by new friends was another fabulous example of getting out there and finding wonder through a little bit of adventure. The four of us decided to take a walk into town and find a way up to the clock tower that would mark the slow hours that blissfully passed in this part of the world. As we made our way to the town, we passed stand alone properties as well as fields with animals doing the things animals do…like watching curious people (tourists) pass by. Walking the town was eerie at first. We saw no one, just heard the barking of dogs as we passed their beloved owners front gates announcing our presence in the town. We walked by the only general store in the town, hearing the locals inside discussing the topic of the day. The more we meandered, the more people we saw and this sleepy town didn’t seem so languorous anymore. Before we knew it, we had made it to the town “Piazza” where again we heard an even more animated discussion on the front porch of the building. Not too far from the building we saw a photo worthy monument. So like every tourist, I decide to take a photo of it, and although we are literally the only 4 tourists in town, Berndt and I manage to somehow run into each other. How tourist typical is that. We both turned to each other and just laughed.

This little outing was so worth it. We happily wandered the town, observing every little detail and enjoying it all. We appreciated a beautiful mural on a windy narrow footpath going up to the church where the bell tower was located. Once we reached the church, we marveled at the view of the town from up there. We walked around the church quietly appreciating the fact that we were in its presence. Berndt and I loved the rustic architecture and we all felt a solemn warmth simply just being there. High up on the mountainside, the view from the church was so peaceful! We relished the moment together and decided to commemorated it with a selfie…of course! On our way back down to Mandali, we passed by a field with horses and decided to make their acquaintance. Cecilia, who has a tremendous love for horses made a new friend. What a great time and what great memories we made.

The retreat at this point was slowly but surely coming to an end. We spent the remaining days enjoying the activities, absorbing the beauty of the grounds and sharing a few more laughs with the friends we made. We basked in the overwhelming feeling of gratitude and bliss as we tried our best to somehow capture the essence of this experience. Breathing in the mountain air, enjoying the sights and sounds…like the church bells announcing the passing of another hour, and the serenade of the birds celebrating the morning. We savored the last remaining bit of this deliberate slowing down, letting the experience etch unforgettable memories of all the wonderful moments spent at Mandali.

I find myself at times wondering, contemplating and yearning to go back to that little oasis in the mountain. When I speak of the experience to others, I urge them to go for themselves and see, feel and enjoy the experience. To let it be that wonderful moment in time where they slowed down, looked inward and found for themselves this feeling of childlike awe that is both exhilarating and soothing. For anyone wondering or wanting to learn more about Mandali, they can be looked up using Instagram @mandali_retreats and they can also be found on Facebook by looking up Mandali Retreat Center or by going to their website Mandali.org.

Thank you Mandali and everyone one at Mandali for such a wonderfully beautiful experience. I look forward to life wielding its mystical hand, somehow allowing me to once again breathe the crisp mountain air, celebrate the passing hours announced by the clock tower, and live a little bit slower cherishing each moment…as they naturally come and go. Grazi per tutti! Ciao…

My Chai…a blessing in disguise.

A blessing in disguise is one of life’s most precious gifts. Often times, the recipient of this blessing hasn’t a clue how precious it truly is. Chai was more than our dog…more than a pet…she was my family’s blessing in disguise. She came to us during a time when not much made sense and a lot seemed very uncertain. Her arrival only now makes sense and is seen by all to be one of the best things to ever have happened to us.

On June 5th, this wonderful gift, this precious friend, our beautiful dog moved on. She died…and we are broken-hearted. We lost a loved one, a family member that helped each one of us in her own special way. Life will not be the same anymore…and this we must find a way to accept.

Chai the puppy

She was an adorable puppy. All of our girls quickly if not immediately fell in love with her. A rescue from what was know back then in 2015 as South Lake rescue, she was the lucky puppy from the litter to capture the hearts of Carmen and the girls. Her name was chosen because of the light brown areas that she had on her white coat. Mostly on her back and her head, it looked like a perfectly brewed cup of chai…and so that would be her name. They told us that she was a mix between perhaps a golden retriever and a Pyrenees. Whatever the mix, it resulted in a beautiful dog with a lovable temperament. Our Chai…our puppy.

She was a playful puppy that had to get used to a full house. We already had quite a few pets when she arrived, but she was gracious and tolerant of the others and quickly found her place among them. She loved walking to the dock in our neighborhood. As she matured and grew, her paws would automatically lead her to that one place as the destination. We would reach there and have a break before heading back home.

Chai…a good dog.

Chai became an integral part of our family…we all came to rely on her for comfort, companionship and the best nuzzles any dog could give. She could pacify you with just one look from her deep hazel eyes, letting you know that she would be there, close by ready to help. She helped us all craft such wonderful memories and she took up residence in all of our hearts. She became part of our world…probably one of the best parts.

I have to admit that at first, I wasn’t so excited or accepting of her. It was a difficult time in my life when my mind was clouded, confused and unwilling. It took some time, but I slowly came around to life with Chai. I remember the moment clearly when she found her way into my heart. It was in 2016, after I had surgery and I was in bed most of the time. One day she noticed that I was having a tough time finding comfort. She was brave enough to jump up on the bed and lay down next to me, close enough to let me feel her and know that she was there for me. She stayed with me and comforted me until we both fell asleep. From then on, I had in her a dear friend and I surreptitiously became enamored.

She was everyone’s friend in the house…she tolerated us all, allowing us to enjoy her company and live along side her. She got along with all of the cats, played with Milo the chihuahua we would look after, and she had a special place in each of my daughter’s hearts. She could make them smile and laugh in ways I couldn’t, and that was precious for me. Seeing the joy and the happiness happen when Chai was around, that was the magical blessing. That is what we all miss…that is what is missing now, and we have to come to terms with this sad fact.

She was a great dog and friend. Another beautiful thing to see was how her relationship with Suki developed. Suki became a family member in 2020. She became Chai’s puppy sister. We loved to see how Chai’s motherly instincts appeared and we especially loved to see them interact. Suki was, and still is a bundle of energy and Chai was her teacher. Suki was her shadow until the very end…always looking for her big sister. Whether it was chilling on the couch, to posing for pictures to getting out for some fresh air, they loved each other. Suki often times looks for her so they could lay down together as they often would. It breaks my heart when Suki looks at me, letting me know with her eyes that she can’t find Chai.

For the past 10 days I’ve lived with this broken heart, holding it together with pictures and memories. Lingering in a daze, simply lost in a memory of us sitting on the couch, walking the trail to the dock, her running up to the door to great me, feeling her lay at my feet or nuzzle me for a rigatoni whenever I cooked pasta. It pains me think about how quickly she faded and how difficult it must have been for her. The tears haven’t stopped and the sorrow hasn’t loosened its grip. I simply miss her…we would wake up together and fall asleep watching TV together. This indelible “loss” has reminded me of the often cruel indiscriminate nature of “change”. Amidst the pain, I struggle to see the life lesson…that ”change” is ever present, bringing with it at times harsh suffering. Losing a loved one is unfortunately a function of change which cannot be undone.

A few word keep coming to mind as I reminisce on the wonderful times I had with Chai. The words are clear and unmistakable. When I think about her as a puppy or as an adult dog and all the way to the last time I looked in her beautiful hazel eyes…all I can hear is, “Don’t be afraid to love me.” For the 8 years that I had her friendship, she helped me to be brave enough to love…she helped me see that maintaining that bravery is an everyday job. This wonderful animal devoted her life to her family and loved us without measure. I will miss her dearly, and I will bravely continue to love…just like she taught me to. Love you Chai…🐾🫶

My NOVID to COVID story…

I’m writing this on the 4th day after having been diagnosed COVID positive. I had been able to dodge the COVID bullet since the outbreak of the pandemic, but my luck evading it has come to an end. I’m no longer classified as NOVID. This writing is my own form of therapy in order to deal with it.

Like many I suppose….I’m not quite sure how I contracted it…but I did. At first the symptoms weren’t hard hitting. Woke up Monday with a sore throat. The type that doesn’t make you cough at first, but makes you spit. Was clearing my throat most of the morning. Felt a little tired, but nothing unlike what I feel like most mornings. It wasn’t until I started to get the tickle in the throat that provoked a cough that I began to wonder. Then towards the late afternoon, I felt so tired that I physically needed to rest my head and close my eyes. This was when I decided to test as soon as I got home.

I thought that it might have been my allergies acting up since I hadn’t been taking my allergy pills, and that my sore throat might be because of my inhaler use. So when I prepared the test, I was ready for another negative result like I had been getting. Since the onset of the pandemic I have taken it seriously. I use a mask and avoid crowds as much as I possibly can. Vigilant is what I would have considered myself. So when I came back to the test and saw the line indicating a positive result, I didn’t accept it. I cracked open a different test and did it again….same thing. This is when I began to feel the worry and the concern. Immediately I thought about where I had gone, who I was with, who I had been close to during the day, and on and on with the flood of thoughts. I sat myself outside and just wondered what was gong to happen now. Where else would I find myself…would I recover well enough to continue with my life, would I have to trudge through life carrying the burden of long COVID, or would I fall into that percentage of the population that perish because of it??? This maelstrom of thoughts grew and grew in my mind accelerating my angst and anguish.

Right now I am 4 days into this and I don’t like it!! This is what I was trying to avoid all along. So whatever strain/variant of the virus I got really lets you have it on the second and third day. I had intense headaches…the kind that keep you in a dark room and make you want to bang your head into the wall, just so that you feel a different kind of pain instead of the one that the virus gives you!. Right behind the eyes, there is an intense pressure that persists and forces you to close your eyes. It radiates out to your temples and even though you massage your head, the ache continues to punish you! If you cough or sneeze its all the more worse. Those were 2 miserable days of isolating in my office, trying not to get close to anyone else in the house or contaminate any other space. That is probably one of the worst part…how it upends and affects the rest of your immediate family unit. Not only the detachment, but being unsure if they are infected too.

I have mild asthma which is another reason my concern is very heightened right now. Having asthma and having difficulty breathing is no fun at all. Using inhalers to manage and keep my lungs functioning has become a part of life now. Knowing that this virus likes to exploit that, I am very anxious about how I will recover in regards to my breathing. I would like to continue to run and stay active. How will this evil virus affect this part of my life? I panic when I feel my chest getting tighter or my breathing beginning to struggle. Freaks me out to a whole other level. This is why I decided to take Paxlovid, the anti-viral drug being used to help recover from COVID. Although it is for emergency use, I felt the risk was worth it. You have to take a lot of pils! 6 pills each day for 5 days. 30 pills in total, and the worst side effect is the most common one. An awful chemical aftertaste…almost metallic. Nasty. Regardless, I hope it does what its supposed to do. I only have 3 pills left and I’m done.

Day 5…I am about to take the final 3 pills of the Paxlovid and then later test to see if I am negative or not. Although I don’t consider myself to be feeling 100%, I am much better than on day 2! Still feel a bit of an ache in general and tightness and tenderness in the lungs from clearing my throat and the occasional cough. I’ve been trying to gauge from others that I know that have had COVID recently to get an idea of when I should attempt to get back to my regular routine of activities. I also need to stay very aware of what my body might be feeling as it continues to recover from the virus. I know of some people that felt good and got back to their routine too quickly and got sick again as a result of being to hasty…I need to remain cautious and vigilant, not only for myself, but for those who I live and work with, and those who throughout the course of the day I interact with. I can’t beat myself up for somehow getting it…I need to just come out from this with a renewed sense of awareness and caution.

Just tested again…still positive with a lingering cough. Not sure how go from here…Need to continue isolating. Thankfully no one else in the house is testing positive…I guess I’m doing a good job of isolating! No family time and no work. This will really require me to find some calm in order to think this out and deal with the rest. CDC recommends that I continue isolating through the 10th day, wear a mask and monitor symptoms. Have to have 2 negative tests within 48 hours in order to be considered clear and safe. Well strike one for me today…still positive, a little frustrated and anxious about what the next few days have in store for me. Now to stay in my somewhat cozy room room, find resolve and remain positive that I will get better…sooner or later. 🤞🏼

I’ll check back in on the 10th day with an update. Any tips or advice from any one on what helped during isolation are welcome. So until then….take care everyone, stay well and safe!

Update_11-2-22

Day 16 and I still don’t feel 100%. Took a test on Monday and I was still showing positive. Cough is lingering and there are moments when I will have sneezing episodes or an uncontrollable urge to cough. The cough is labored too…dry with little to no phlegm. That alone make the cough energy draining.

These yo-yo symptoms seem to come and go as they please. There have been days when I feel fine and have no sign of any discomfort. Then there are days when the cough, or the runny nose, or the congestion make getting through the day difficult. I’ve even tried good old home remedies…like homemade soup. That actually helped…the recipe I made used some jalapeños which added much needed heat for my throat and chest. That was a good time and I remember sleeping like a baby. It’s annoying because I can’t really pinpoint anything that provokes the symptoms. For example, I felt great Monday…so much so that I went for a run after a full day of work, then later in the day Tuesday, the cough again! All I know is that COVID is a real pain in the ass!

The worst part about this is that now my wife tested positive….so now the virus is making itself at home in my house!! More stress…hoping that no one else either gets it and that it doesn’t my wife too hard. So now, we wait until COVID leaves!! Can’t wait to be rid of it and say adios y no vuelvas mas!!

Feliz cumpleaños Papi…

Ya son dos años que no estas. No se como sentir todavía. Creo que con solo una llamada, podré oír tu voz, hacerte una pregunta o simple preguntarte como estas. Me podrás contar como esta el tiempo en Naguabo, como esta Aida, mi hermana y los de mas. Te podré contar lo ultimo que esta pasando conmigo, con mi familia y así pasar un rato platicando. Entiendo muy bien que estas cosas ya no se pueden hacer, pero como quisiera…

En el transcurso de estos años, he podido poco a poco darme por vencido al la realidad de que no estas. He logrado por fin aver tragado lo ultimo de este trago amargo. Quedo resignado a tenerte cerca en mis memorias y en fotos. De esta manera puedo seguir compartiendo contigo.

Tanto que hicimos y nos decimos, si lo pienso bien, había tanto mas que hacer y decir. Gracias Papi por tus consejos, por la paciencias que tuviste conmigo, por haber comido el almuerzo vegano que te prepare a ti y a Aida…por el cariño que les diste a mis hijas, por el suave abrazo que siempre lo tenias listo para darme cuando te visitaba. Tu sonrisa, esa forma particular de reírte, tu voz cuando hablabas y cantabas son las cositas que permanecen y bailan entre el mar de memorias que tengo. Tu vida no fue fácil y sufriste mucho, pero aún nunca dejaste de ser padre, nunca te alejaste para no volver, nunca dejaste de querer a tu hijo e hijas. Como papa y persona, me diste un buen ejemplo para así enfrentar la vida.

La musica calma todo.

Hoy día, en tu cumpleaños quiero que de alguna manera sepas que te aprecio tanto y te extraño. Espero que estes donde estes, puedas sentir todo el amor que aún te tenemos. Que siempre te escuchare cantando desde el balcón. Feliz cumpleaños Papi…te quiero mucho! 🇵🇷

Cinque Terre…a land to fall in love with!

Our trip to Cinque Terre was the second tour that we decided to do during our trip to Italy. Cinque Terre is a coastal region that overlooks the Ligurian Sea. It is about a two hour trip from Florence and based on all of the YouTube “research” we did, it is a favorite for many who have made Italy their vacation destination. Located within an UNESCO world heritage site and national park, Cinque Terre is composed of five towns nestled along the coastline that look as if they’re clinging to the sloping hillsides that drop straight into the Ligurian Sea. Calling these towns beautiful doesn’t really do them justice. They look like they come straight out of a fantasy. Brightly colored houses arranged and built with the surrounding natural environment in mind. These houses, dwellings and structures co-exist with the coastal landscape. It was lovely to see how each town displays it’s own version of this co-existence. This Cinque Terre adventure was sure to be one to remember!

Days 3 / Wonderful Cinque Terre.

Our day began very early since the tour was meeting in front of the train station Santa Maria Novella at the lovely hour of 7:30 am. This was the second tour, which we booked through Viator and it would occupy the majority of the day. After a wonderful evening exploring the beauty of Florence, we had to wake up very early to get ready for our Cinque Terre excursion. We prepped our gear, snacks and the water bottles necessary for our trip, left the hotel with enough time for a possible wrong turn while making our way to the train station. All the while we were on the lookout for a place to stop for a quick breakfast before meeting up with the group. Luckily we found a cafe right in front of the train station where we fueled up with coffee and surprisingly vegan cornettos!! The cafe was busy due to its location and seemed to a convenient place for the locals to grab their breakfast before the beginning of the day. Everything was affordable and good! Another nice surprise was that the vegan cornettos had a fruit filling. After a breakfast like this, we were ready!!

By the time 7:30 came, we were fueled up and eager to get ourselves into something we could only imagine…a trip to the Italian coast of the Ligurian sea to explore a true gem of Italy’s natural beauty. We see the people beginning to gather, so we make our way there. We line up and wait seeing the group get bigger and bigger. Suddenly who do we see…It’s Mauro again checking people in making sure all that signed up for the tour are present and accounted for. Another run down of what the day has in store for us and guess what, another “short” Italian walk to the bus. Needless to say this walk was not short at all, and it was the first harrowing thing we did to start off the day’s adventure. We were a group of 79 and had to get across a busy Florence street! Just a little nerve racking. The guides, Alessandro and Guido expertly got us across and we all boarded the bus. A very nice double decker bus. Adequately comfortable for the two hour ride out to the coast where Cinque Terre is located. Once buckled in we hit the road, excited and ready for an adventure.

Alessandro and Guido did an amazing job entertaining and educating us during the trip. The route to Cinque Terre took us through some very beautiful and lush regions of Italy and they made sure to point out the interesting facts about each region. One region that we passed was Pistoria. As we passed this lovely area, all we saw were plant nurseries. Guido explained that this region was tucked into the valley and all of the runoff from the mountains were what made their land so rich and fertile. In fact, many of the plants there grow so easily that they are not only used in Italy, but are also exported. As we lumbered along the road, lunch arrangements were made in advance for one of the towns that we were going visit. A special treat as Alessandro put it. We passed another interesting region, Carrara. The Carrara region is mountainous and it is where the famed Carrara marble is quarried. From the highway, you can actually see how carved out and gashed the mountainside is from years or quarrying the luxurious marble slabs that are famous the world over. We also got recommendations on some other cities to visit which include Pisa and Lucca. It was a smooth ride and as the time passed we approached La Spezia, the town that basically welcomes everyone going to Cinque Terre. This is where the train that takes you to the towns begins.

When we arrived at this train station, I couldn’t figure out how the heck they were going to keep track and tabs on all 79 of us, but they managed! We were split into two groups, told to stay close to our guide and stick to the schedule. The plan was to start in the second of the five towns, Manarola and proceed up towards Monterosso al Mare, then take the ferry down to the first town of Riomaggiore. This all sounded achievable in the seven or so remaining hours of the tour. So after a quick bathroom break, (**Tip – always have some single Euros handy because in order to use a public restroom, it will usually cost you one Euro.) we got on our train and were off to Cinque Terre!

Arriving at Manarola, we didn’t know what to expect. Exiting the train station, there wasn’t much to appreciate besides a nice view of the sea. Our guide Guido led us out of the train station and explained that thanks the UNESCO, there has been a lot of progress with regards to the infrastructure and upkeep of the region. One very evident example is the way the mountain side is “restrained” for lack of a better term by chain nets and fences to prevent landslides or other falling debris from causing unwanted damage. This really gave us a small taste of what we would see next.

The train station exits to a path with a dry fit rock wall on the side that leads you to the Main Street of the town. From there we all were able to see just how nestled everything is in the town and gave us a new appreciation for the term cramped living. The other very noticeable aspect was how pleasant the brightly colored houses made everything feel. It gave it a very unique, Italian coast feel. From the main road you could either go up into the town or down to the “micro” port and the water. Guido decided to take us to a tucked away lookout point so we could appreciate the awesome view this town is so fortunate to have. Getting there we had to navigate narrow walkways that at times seemed like a labyrinth, passing what were tightly packed living quarters. Talk about cozy, there were certain parts of the walkways that if you stretched your arms out, you could touch either side! As Guido pressed onward, we came up to a lookout point from where you would either turn left going deeper into the labyrinth or right toward a very, very steep set of stairs going down in the direction of the main road. The view was spectacular! On one side expertly terraced hillside farmland hugging neatly arranged houses and buildings that are hanging on to whatever land is left. On the other side, a coastline straight from a dream! As far as the eye could see, the placid and tranquil waters of the Ligurian Sea lapping the shore of the rest of the Cinque Terre coastline. The complexity of the building, the coastline, the colors and the hillside all contribute to the overall beauty your eyes see…a picturesque Italian town that seems to be stuck in time.

Manarola was a great way to begin this exploration of the region. We made our way down to the Main Street level of the town and had a few minutes to explore an bit more. A visit to the little port of the town for a classic tourist picture, along with a quick encounter with a Manarola cat, then we were off to the next town of Corniglia. We stayed close to our guide and stuck to the schedule. Made it to the train station and jumped on the train to the next town.

Corniglia, the smallest of the five towns and the only one that does not have a port or water access. There is only one road and according to Alessandro, one of the guides, the entire town can be explored in a matter of minutes by walking this one road. This was the town where we would have lunch then begin our hike to the next town…but first we had to get to the town. So from the train station you can admire the town and how high it is from the coastline. Guido was sure to point this out to us, but what he also pointed out were the 400 plus stairs that we would need to climb in order to reach the town! As we exited the train station we approached the scary set of stairs that would take us straight up to our destination. The first few set of switchback style stairs were not that bad, but slowly people stopped to catch their breath or rest their legs because they began to feel heavy after the first 100 sets of stairs. Of course this wasn’t the only way to get up there, a shuttle goes from the train station up to the town, but what’s the fun in that! Thankfully we all made it up without incident, but all very tired, with some wishing they had taken the shuttle!

This staircase to Corniglia would be a small taste of what was to come on the hike, but more about that a little later. After getting to the top, it was right time for lunch. The lunch arrangements were made during the bus ride thankfully by Alessandro and Guido. So both groups, now tired and famished headed towards the popular restaurant Cecio Camere where the staff was expecting us. We were greeted and seated by what seemed to be a husband and wife team that like a well oiled machine began the lunch service. On the bus Alessandro explained that we would be eating pasta with Pesto, but not just any pesto, it was a local speciality. It was based on traditional pesto but what made it different was that it was prepared with string beans and potato. We weren’t sure what to make of this, but we were in Italy and had little doubt that it would be nothing short of delicious. My wife and I shared the table with a couple of new friends made along the way. We ate the exceptional pesto, (Alessandro was right by the way…it was really good!) enjoyed a nice conversation and mentally prepared for the hike that awaited us.

After our lunch we were asked to gather outside of the restaurant to be separated into hikers and non-hikers. My wife Carmen decided not to join me on the hike and took the train to the next town, Vernazza and wait for us hikers there. I on the other hand was excited to get on the trail and relish the experience. Alessandro was the lead on this part of the tour and his basic instructions were to just stay on the trail, be careful and that he would monitor us until we reached our destination. He did his best to inform us of the route and the challenging parts of the trail, that included the change in elevation. The first half would be going up and the second half going down the mountain trail. We all in a way knew that we didn’t really know what to expect…and that was what thrilled us I suppose. It was sure to be great time on the trail.

Starting off, the trail seemed tame enough, but the further we hiked, the more the trail showed us its true rugged nature. The trail is part of the national park in the Cinque Terre region and in order to hike the trial, you need a ticket. Luckily, the ticket we had for the train includes access to the trail. I made sure to stay with the new friend I made during lunch. She, like me was up for the challenge. The trail is not paved, littered with large stones and roots that make hiking it a true hikers challenge. We also felt the draining heat of the sun add to our toil during this mid-day test of stamina. Just like I had seen on the YouTube videos of other travelers to the trails, there were parts that had to be negotiated carefully. Some parts had no guardrail, others were very narrow and could only allow for one person to walk at a time. There were stairs made with whatever large stones were available leading you up to even more difficult terrain. All along the way, there were so many places to capture that idyllic picture of this beautiful Italian coastline. Even though we all departed in a tightly packed straight line, that slowly fell apart as some made necessary stops either to catch their breath or escape the sun to drink some water. Before we knew it, the single file of hikers dispersed into small groups of hikers, some doing everything they could to get the hike over with and others smartly pacing themselves. Once I got a feel for the temperament of the trail, I did my best to not rush and enjoy the ordeal.

Thankfully I wore clothes that helped with the sun and brought bottles of water to help me stay fresh. Once we passed the half way point, we all felt some relief. This relief was short lived simply because of the fact that what goes up, must come down. After the half way point, the trail was mostly downhill. This might not seem like a big deal, but if you’re a hiker you know that this is a big test for your knees and footing. There were many large rocks that were slippery due to a myriad of hikers having trodden on them. While navigating this part of the trail, we realized the popularity of this hiking trail. We saw all sorts of hikers, some seasoned, some not, as we trekked toward the next town. We even came across some that were not prepared for this type of outing and should not have been on the trail in my opinion. The trail is lovely, but my warning to all that choose to visit is that it remains a hikers trail and should be engaged with that in mind. We continued until we finally had sight of Vernazza and as it slowly got closer with each step, our desire to reach it and rest also grew with each careful step. Reaching the last of the trail, we were still left with a descent into the town center by you guessed it…more stairs! What a relief when we actually made it to the waterfront of Vernazza. The shops, the little beach area and the make shift dock for the ferry were all a welcome sight for all of us tired hikers.

This waterfront was simply beautiful and had an uncanny resemblance to the waterfront from the animated movie Lucca. The similarity is unmistakable and helped me appreciate how this region inspires so many with its quaint beauty. As we walked around, we tried to find my wife and our other friend. Try as we did, we were unsuccessful and decided to enjoy Vernazza on our own until it was time to go. We walked around a bit to see the Main Street of the town, decided to get some gelato and rest up a the waterfront. I found a nice rock to sit on and call my own, put my tired feet in the cool water and enjoyed my mango gelato! Life at that very moment was nothing less that good! I honestly didn’t want that moment to end…it was so unthinkable just two years ago when COVID shook the world to its core. I sat there with my feet in the water relishing each fleeting moment, grateful for the experience. It wasn’t long before the time arrived for us to meet at the train station to continue our journey to the next town.

Realizing the time had come to meet up with the group at the train station, we made our way there and said goodbye to this lovely town of Vernazza. Finally I was able to find my wife at the entrance to the train station. She had decided to sample the local wine shop and enjoy a couple of glasses with some friends while waiting for us to finish our hike. Funny thing is that I passed that shop a couple of times and didn’t see her…I must have been really tired! From here our group managed to gather at the train station and we moved on to the next town, Monterosso al Mare.

The last town is the biggest of the five and is where one can actually sunbathe or swim in the Ligurian sea. The town has a developed beachfront area in the newer section. Monterosso al Mare is divided into the new more recently developed town and the original legacy town which are connected by a tunnel that goes right though the hillside. The beach area, with its crystal clear water has a beautiful view of the coast and looks like a post card when the beach umbrellas are set up. Since the town is the biggest of the five, there are more lodging accommodations there making it more attractive to tourists, beach goers and experienced hikers. Although it was a little more crowded there, it never felt overwhelming. The other nice thing to see was that a good number of the visitors to Cinque Terre, were Italians from other parts of the country. Locals taking some time to enjoy “La Dolce Vita” in their own country. Many even coming with their animal family. Yet another reason to love and admire this wonderful country.

By this time many of us were probably tired and in need of some slow time. After exiting the tunnel into the older part of the town, we got a chance to slow down a bit. Guido gave us the breakdown for the rest of the afternoon. Some time in the town, then meeting at the dock for our ferry ride back up the coast to the Riomaggiore. We were lucky that the weather stayed pleasant enough for the captain of the ferry to make the trip. Before all of that could happen, Guido took us to a place where we could get a delicious pastry that is very particular to the town, a coffee and maybe some more wine…or perhaps, all of the above! We did just that. My wife and I, along with our new friends got some pastries and coffee from the local shop, Pasticceria Artiginale…Laura. We sat, ate and enjoyed the ambiance of the town. The ladies then decided to go sample some wine, while I took a stroll around the town admiring it and wondering when I would find myself here again…daydreaming in a sense.

Before I knew it, the time had come to make our way to the dock and board the ferry. Before we boarded, we had one more photo opportunity. A nice picture of the town from the end of the dock. As the ferry floated away from the dock, turning in the direction of Riomaggiore, we chit-chatted away about the day with some other people from the tour. We saw the coast slowly pass us by one town at a time until at last arriving at Riomaggiore. Although the tour ended there, our time had run out! The only way we were able to admire the town was by walking from the dock of the ferry to the train station. Since our tour had to stick to the schedule, we had take advantage of any photo opportunity. There was a spot on the way from the dock to the train station which was perfect for taking an epic tourist picture. Luckily we were able to get the picture and keep up with the group as we snaked down to the entrance of the train station. Once we were all there, the next destination was back to where it all started, La Spezia.

Waiting for us in La Spezia was our bus. After leaving the train station we had about a five “Italian” minute (more like 12 minutes) walk to where the bus was parked. We hopped on the bus and began the trip back to Florence. Alessandro and Guido once again kept us entertained, informed and amused on the ride back. Passing the same beautiful regions that we saw during the ride there, they were just as lovely now bathed in the early evening light. The day was long and full of great experiences for all of us that went on the tour. Among the indistinct conversation that many were having, we got the impression that this tour was well worth it. As the time passed, all I could think about was making plans to come back to enjoy the Cinque Terre for more than just one day. In fact, there were many of us on the bus that had the same thought. This tour was the perfect introduction to the exquisite natural wonder of the region. It opened our eyes to life in a remote part of this amazing country. It whet our appetite for more rustic charm of old Italian towns, more scenic outdoor immersion and more cultural appreciation. We certainly consider ourselves lucky to have been able to walk those Cinque Terre streets, make new friends along the way and most importantly for Carmen and I, to share this “Dolce Vita” experience together.

Firenze favolosa…Fabulous Florence.

Amazing doesn’t really seem to capture it! On our first trip to the European continent, Italy was the destination and Firenze was an absolute must see city. Planning for our trip we had grand ideas of going to all sorts of places in Italy and doing everything we could to fit in as much as possible. Soon the reality of the trip set in and we began to think about our Italian adventure more rationally. As a result, we decided to make Florence our first stop and make it the base for the first portion of our stay in Italy. This turned out to be a very good idea!

The city the Medici built and known the world over for being the epicenter of the Renaissance, is a charming and rustic metropolis that certainly did not disappoint. The city is a lovely example of history and culture carefully preserved and curated so as to entice tourists to visit, but not lose the legacy or authenticity that the city retains. We made a conscious decision to get around and move like the locals so we chose Florence because it is so walkable. We were looking for some traditional and authentic local experience. So to this end, we decided to move ourselves via local transportation. Basically our own two feet and the Italian train system. We were determined to enjoy Italy, like the Italians do…to some degree.

After a long flight we hit the ground running. When we landed at the Malpensa airport in Milan, we went directly to the train station. We already had our digital tickets thanks to the Omio train app which turned out to be very convenient for the remainder of our stay. The app does charge a minimal service fee, but you don’t have to worry about validating your paper ticket or waiting on any long lines.

After taking the regional train from the airport to the Milano Centrale train station, we waited to board another train that would take us to Firenze! Milano Centrale is an enormous train station that is a major hub it seems for many a traveler. We grabbed a quick bite to eat and got on our train for a two hours ride through the Italian country side. The ride wasn’t bad at all and we looked forward to continuing to travel this way whenever we had the chance.

We slowly approached our stop, Florence station Santa Maria Novella. We got out of the train and did our best to try figure out our way without looking too much like tourists. Didn’t work because we totally had no clue which way to go. Slowly and after a few wrong turns, we began going in the right direction to our hotel, the Westin Excelsior. (**Quick tip, there are no street signs, the names of the streets are located on the side of the building where the street/corner intersect🤔.) Honestly, by this time we were tired due to the travel and the time change. We checked in and took a nap! Later that evening we set out to do a little exploring, a little getting lost and to find food. The evening was fun and gave us a nice taste of night time in Florence. We walked along the Arno river, were amazed by the beautiful architecture that seemed to greet us on every street we walked, found a pizza place that had a dairy free option, Mister Pizza (kind of mandatory for the first meal), got some gelato (also mandatory…) from Perché No! and marveled at the seemingly countless cathedrals and piazzas. The Duomo di Firenze, Palazzo Vecchio and the Arno are simply idyllic at night and make the city a joy to experience.

Days 2 / Pizza and Gelato time!

Our first day in Florence went well. We managed to not get too lost, saw some amazing sights and enjoyed some much needed food. It was a great first day/night in Firenze. The next two days would be even more exciting since we had booked some tours in advance. A pizza / gelato making class in a Tuscan farm house on Tuesday and an escape to the coastal area of Cinque Terre on Wednesday. We thought it best to take advantage of the opportunity these tours (booked through Viator and Tripadvisor) gave us, to soak up some of the Italian culture and see some other parts of Italy. Having Florence as our base, we could comfortably plan our adventures and enjoy them to the fullest.

The pizza / gelato class didn’t start until the early afternoon, 2:30 pm, so it gave us time to walk around and get a little lost again. The day was amazing with clear sky’s and a tolerable temperature. It made walking the streets so nice. The detail in the architecture really stood out and you were able to appreciate the scale and expertise involved in the construction process. What makes it more mind boggling is that this construction was done hundreds of years ago. Walking around Florence during the day really gives you a sense of how walkable the city is, if you allow yourself to get lost a bit and avoid the Vespas, bicycles and all of the small cars that expertly zip by!

Locating the meeting point, we tried to take as inconspicuous a position as possible, but we still looked like tourists waiting for guidance. Suddenly Mauro began to approach those of us waiting and coral all of us partaking in the Pizza / gelato tour. Once gathered, he explained what we had in store for the next few hours, starting with a 5 minute (5 Italian minutes as he jokingly said) walk to the bus that would take us to the Tuscan estate where the classes would take place. As we walked we tried to get friendly with some of the other participants and also took a mental notes of the route so as to remember the way back afterwards.

The bus ride was nice and wasn’t long either. We got dropped off on a street in the hillside a little outside of Florence. We were greeted by Gloria, who seemed to be the lead instructor for the day. She walked us down an unpaved road to the location of the estate. As we walked we could see the picturesque view from over the hedges and bushes that lined the road. The closer we got the more excited we were. She walked us thorough a gate and led us down a steep staircase to the courtyard where all the fun would be taking place. As we reached the bottom, we saw a pretty backdrop to a lovely courtyard and garden. Not to far from this was the outdoor pizza oven, the dinning area and the gelato kitchen. It didn’t really seem quite real, the beauty of the place. Lush with vegetation, sun and the Tuscan breeze that solidified the reality that we were in Italy. As the team introduced themselves and passed out focaccia and wine we got ready to have an enjoyable afternoon.

Gloria, Thomas and Luigi were our Walkabout Florence tour instructors for the afternoon. They actually made the experience a memorable one. They had the task of teaching the group the intricacies involved with gelato making, pizza dough preparation and pizza making. They each opened our eyes to finer details of gelato and pizza making. Gloria began by sharing with us her passion for gelato and explaining to us the importance of maintaining the proper proportions when making top notch gelato. She guided us through the hands on parts of the gelato making process and even had some fun making a special lemon / mint / pepper gelato for us that was sooo delicious! Since the process involved stages, Gloria passed us off to the other instructors while the gelato magic was happening. Thomas and Luigi both helped explain the history and differences in the art of pizza dough preparation. Like the part about letting the dough rise…for at least 24 hours to 36 hours for top quality pizza dough. Didn’t know that!! Thomas took care of the history and the proportions needed for the dough and Luigi handled the hands on portion, pun intended I suppose, and made it very fun! Both of these guys were super entertaining, informative and pleasant. Eating was the best part of the tour. We prepared our pizza’s under the guidance of Thomas & Luigi. The wood burning pizza oven was really cool. That oven, at the proper temperature cooks the pizzas in about 1.5 minutes. Once it comes out of the oven, it looks like pizza perfection.

They each were able to offer something fun and insightful to the overall experience. So much so in fact that I felt it important to recognize them in a review I posted. They were simply great! We all enjoyed ourselves, ate amazingly good pizza and gelato and we all even got an official certificate of completion for the tour. Honestly, the experience was fun, memorable and most of all enjoyable. Definitely something I would recommend to anyone going to Florence. Everyone who went on the tour seemed pleased with the experience and left with a full belly and a smile on their faces.

After the bus ride back to the pick up location, we said goodbye to those who were lodging in the Florence area and wished them well with the rest of their stay in Italy. We did what was natural to us at that point…we decided to get a little lost again and see where the lovely early Florence evening would take us. As we walked, enjoying the sparrows flying around singing their late afternoon song, we sat and simply appreciated the Duomo in the piazza de Santa Croce along with the statue of A Dante Alighieri. They looked picturesque bathed in the early evening sun. After this we found ourselves on a bridge at the perfect time to take a picture of the Arno river and the Ponte Vecchio against the beautiful Italian sunset that Carmen and I both dreamt about seeing one day. Thank you Firenze for making our dream come true!

Our European escape…the magic of Italy.

In this first post for “Somewhere else”, I thought I would begin with an unforgettable experience that my wife and I had on our first trip to the European continent. Our long awaited trip to Italy. This trip was two years in the making primarily because of COVID and some other inconveniences. Despite all of that, the day finally arrived and we had the experience of a lifetime. This trip conceptually was a bucket list trip, but it actually turned out to be a somewhat well thought out escape in search of food, adventure, culture and tranquility. A much needed vacation from the everyday that many of us seem to become surgically attached to through no fault of our own.

Since we had such an amazing time, I will break down the experiences into separate posts and do my best to describe the beauty of each of the locales we visited. Selfishly, this is a way for me to keep the experience alive in my mind as well as a way to inspire me to do whatever it is I can to find a way to go back and enjoy more of “La Dolce Vita” that Italy is so well known for. I hope you enjoy…Ciao!

Gallbladder recovery.

Today is the eleventh day since I had gallbladder removal surgery, or Cholecystectomy as it is formally known. Recovery hasn’t been horrible, but it isn’t a walk in the park either! I know that not everyone’s experience with recovering from this will be the same, but some things about it should be helpful to those who are considering having the procedure. Hopefully my experience will shed some light.

So it all started with, of course, abdominal discomfort that began to become an issue about four to five months ago. As my wife will tell you, I’ve never really had amazing eating habits. I am plant based since 2013 and have led a mostly active lifestyle since then as well. But there were times when my gut would say otherwise. I didn’t give it much thought and wrote it off to indigestion. It wasn’t until I had really bad reflux and discomfort from the reflux that I began to think about what might be happening a bit more. Even during these episodes of reflux, I would convince myself it was something else. It turns out that this gallbladder attack “psych out” was not too far off. These attacks can manifest themselves like chest tightness, respiratory distress along with the expected abdominal pain and discomfort. I went to the cardiologist, the lung doctor and finally to my general physician. There were too many signs that it was my gallbladder and it was starting to affect my life in general.

Genetics was another thing that got me thinking. Both my mother and my father had their gallbladder removed! They both waited way too long to have their gallbladder removed. My dad had to have a traditional style removal where they actually cut your side open and remove the gallbladder. My mother had it done laparoscopically. I remember all too well when she had to have hers removed. She was throwing up bile and suffering way too much before she had to go to the hospital. My father I’m sure also must have waited too long. When I thought back on this, I began to counsel myself, telling myself that I shouldn’t wait until I reach that level of pain and discomfort before I do something about this condition. This helped with my decision to start thinking about my health first, and temporarily put other aspects of my life aside.

But to be quite honest, the one truly scary thing that pushed me over the edge happened on Saturday September 4th 2021. While my wife and I were in Massachusetts dropping my middle daughter off at college, I had the scariest attack I could remember. The build up for it happened little by little throughout the day, but it wasn’t until later in the early evening it hit hard. It had a little of everything, abdominal distress, severe shortness of breathe with chest tightness, light headedness and upper body pains. It was frightening! So much so that I remember stopping to take a seat and messaging my 3 daughters that I loved them…just in case my time was actually up! So, when I got back, I went full steam ahead with figuring myself out. Before the trip, I had already gotten an ultrasound of the gallbladder and it showed polyps. This already was a bad sign, since all of my symptoms indicated that the function of the gallbladder was already being affected. The time had come to make a big decision!

Acorn Street, Boston…before the gallbladder attack.

This big decision started with going to a trusted surgeon and getting his advice. He worked on me and Carmen before and we trusted his ability as a surgeon and his direct opinion as medical doctor. I made an emergency appointment with him on Tuesday the 14th, went over all of the scans, my symptoms and figured out a plan. He was so nice that he managed to fit me in for the very following week for surgery on September 20th! That’s it…the ball started to roll! So after spending the rest of that week making arrangements at work for the time off, I got myself prepared for the procedure. Curiosity led me to of course….YouTube to look up videos of the procedure. I must have watched about a dozen! I basically knew what the surgeon was going to be doing from start to finish. I suppose this was my way of mentally preparing for the at times unpleasant chore of going under, getting cut up and fixed up in an extreme last resort kind of way. Well friends, this is how it went down.

Surgery day

This day started in the early morning, waking up very early so that I can check myself in to the hospital at 6:30 am. After that process was taken care of, I headed to the outpatient surgery center and was prepped for the procedure. Stripped naked, donned the always fashionable hospital gown & hair net, and stuck with an IV for the fluids and medicine! After all of the regular questioning, when was the last time you ate, are you allergic, do you have false teeth or partials….etc., etc. I didn’t get my turn in the operating room until about almost 10am. I have had surgery before so when the nurse anesthetist came in to inject the calming get you relaxed “medicine”, I knew the time had come. No going back now. So as the calming medicine began to kick in, I was wheeled into the operating room. I still recall all of that well. I always try to hold on to my consciousness for as long as I can. At times making it a game with the OR crew, insisting I count down from 10 to see how far I get. I never make it to 1 because once they start to give you the good stuff, everything slowly fades and you’re temporarily GONE. It’s always weird, because once you regain your self awareness, you’re in the recovery room, you slowly become aware of the new pain sensations and you try to make sense of what has happened, where you are, who is around you and what will happen next. This my friends is the very first step on the road to recovery.

Although it isn’t super clear, I do remember the time spent in the recovery section of the hospital, the discharge process and being taken to the car in the wheelchair. The ride home seemed normal and before long, I was home in bed scanning my body for pain, trying to gauge how and when the real pain would start. I knew that I had “medicine” flowing through me and that was what was numbing the majority of my pain. I just tried to relax while my body slowly came to the realization that it had just been seriously worked on and that it was going to have to figure out how to heal!

Surgery day didn’t suck as much as I thought, but it sucked enough to make me wince in pain and reach for the Oxycodone I was prescribed for those curse filled moments when just moving causes some wicked hurt! I mean they did only just tear five holes in me, fill my abdomen with gas, insert these crazy surgical instruments in me and take out an organ! (Check it out on YouTube. It’s awesome!) Dozing off that night wasn’t too difficult since I was really tired. Sleeping on my back and straight through the night was impossible, but I did get some rest, thanks to the Oxycodone.

Day 2 – 4

Okay now days 2 through 4 don’t really seem too clear. I blame that on the fierce battle I was waging against the pain with the aid of the Oxycodone. That stuff is no joke and no good. I am no stranger to self medicating myself, with prescribed and other substances and I can tell you that the Oxycodone high sucks. It’s a total sensory numbing that isn’t healthy at all in my opinion! Sure it kills the pain, but it also feels like it’s killing you at the same time. Nothing like a lifting feeling that other “substances” provide. I literally was only taking them to keep the pain at bay and help with getting out of the bed to go pee.

What I do remember about those days was drinking everything. Water, soup, and avoiding solid foods. Swallowing and talking early on wasn’t easy. This was because of the breathing tube used during the procedure. Drinking a lot of water helped to get my voice back. I also wanted to give my gut the break it needed in order for it to slowly get used to having the bile go straight from my liver into my digestive track. No more storage container, aka gallbladder to store the bile and help with digestion. So during these first few days, I really took it easy ingesting only very easy going foods. The other major reason was so that I wouldn’t struggle too much when it came time to do #2. From my previous experiences with Oxycodone, it also works well to constipate! So not cool…ever!! Whenever I was given it for post surgery recovery, it always gummed me up and made going #2 so, so difficult. So what I tried to do this time around was to drink a powdered stool softener during these first few days. This actually helped with the side effect of the Oxycodone. Still wasn’t pleasant.

Day 4 – now

By the time Friday came around, I was used to sleeping on my back, withstanding the pain for as long as I could before popping a pill and getting out of bed. Friday was the first clear day. I was able to leave the bedroom and walk around the house to stretch my legs and change the scenery a bit. It still bothered to move around that much, but it was so worth it. Being able to be with my dogs and cats, go to the back porch and get some sun. It felt so amazing! It’s funny that even though I’ve done those same things many times before, they felt so needed this time around. It was a motivator for me to shifts gears and start the hard work towards full recovery.

That day I decided to start this hard work. I felt well enough to actually step outside my house! I calmly walked the trail in my neighborhood to the lake dock for a nice morning sit. I can’t tell you how great that felt. Being outside, walking and taking in some medicinal nature! I enjoyed every last bit of it! I sat there, listened to the birds, the rustling of the lake reeds and the intermittent splashing of the water, thankful for it, truly. When I got home, I had built up an appetite, so I actually prepared a real meal, with “solid” food!! So exciting. Just egg omelet with a plant based sausage, banana, mushroom based coffee drink and an antioxidant rich berry drink. Yum!! After that, the rest of the day was spent with my animal family enjoying the back porch and listening to WQXR…a classical radio station that I would always listen to when I lived in NYC. Music is another of those mysterious medicines that somehow finds a way to reach those unreachable part of your mind and body to work its amazing magic. That day was honestly a great day!

So from that day forward I have been very vigilant as far as my nutrition going forward, my activity level so that my body can remember how to function and generate strength and my mental stability. I did feel what I guess you could call “surgery remorse”. I kept having these swirling thoughts in my head that I was too hasty with my decision to remove my gallbladder. I kept thinking that maybe there was something out there that might have helped other than surgery. I felt bad for doing this to my body I guess and forcing my digestive system to function other than how it was intended to function. Those thoughts kept creeping into my head. Then while I was researching more about life after gallbladder surgery, I realized that I did the prudent thing. My gallbladder was destined to be removed! It was beginning to not function properly, it was forming polyps and was probably going to continue to form them, and it was really causing me too much discomfort on a daily basis. I stayed ahead of the issue, unlike some, like my mother and father. I chose not to wait.

So the plan for the upcoming week was going to be, morning walks to help build up my core strength and breathing. One of the unpleasant nagging consequences of the surgery is that the bellybutton area really takes its time to heal and “feel” normal. That is one of the major entry points for the surgery and it takes longer for that area to fell healed. Along with this, I was planning and being really conscious of my meals. One of the recommendations I saw while researching was that you really should not fill yourself up after this type of surgery. It will strain the digestive system to the point of abdominal discomfort. So what’s advised is that you eat smaller meals and maybe add a meal throughout the day. So instead of three meals a day, it can be five to six, but smaller ones that won’t overburden your digestive track. Another thing that I thought I would add to my eating routine was some supplements. Now that the liver was going to be the sole source of the bile used for digestion, I needed to make sure that it is kept in tip top condition. So I got some digestive enzymes and a liver tonic. Please consult your personal physician before adding this to your diet, but truthfully they have helped. Since the bile that is used is not concentrated like it once was, it’s not a bad idea to help your gut out a bit by adding this to the eating routine. An online search will also help you find out what foods to avoid and which ones to add.

I suppose I could have really tortured myself dealing with this episode in my life, but it was something that I had to experience, endure and adapt to. It took a little time for me to adapt and become comfortable with my present situation, but it all slowly came together and I feel at peace with it all. Going forward, I will need to be ever mindful of how I nourish myself and continue to fine tune my awareness towards my health in general. This include both body and mind. Things have changed, as they always will and I must be accepting and nimble enough to adapt to currents of change.

It made sense to me one day during one of my morning walks. Thursday I decided to change the scenery and walk a path that I usually run on. It is part of the West Orange trail that passes by a Buddhist temple. I usually run the trail then take a few minutes to sit at the temple. It is calm, serene and peaceful there. The spot where I sit is by a tree that gives a beautiful fragrant flower during the spring. It’s one of my favorite places to just sit and be. This time one of the Buddhist nuns was there tending to her morning duties, sweeping the leaves that this tree drops. As she swept I said to her, “this is a good tree, but this time of year it can be messy.” To which she replied, “I’m thankful for this tree, it has given me something to do this morning. This tree has helped with my meditation, just as I clean up the floor at the same time I clean up my mind. It is all part of the cycle of life.” Then she moved on to another area. With this lovely gift of Dharma, she reminded me that my efforts to keep my health, pacify my mind, recover and enjoy what I have were all part of the cycle of life. Finding balance and enjoying each moment to the end and to the fullest should be our task, always mindful of keeping our minds and behaviors clean, not just for our sake, but for the sake of all. So I quietly thanked her, not just for sweeping up the area, but for reminding me with her simple Dharma lesson that despite all we suffer, having a clean mind and heart is the best medicine! As I stood up to leave, I said goodbye to the tree as more of leaves dropped from its limbs. ✌🏼🙏🏼☸️

Benny’s last breath.

Death, the end. It is the finality that releases all and sets us free to once again, join the flow that has always been, and will always be. On December 24th, 2020, at 1:20 AM I witnessed my friend Benny take his last breath. A desperate and helpless moment, full of anguish seeing my friend of 14 years struggle to release his grip on life. As he struggled full of fear and physical pain, we both endured the moment to the very end. We both suffered through it, and it is a painful memory that I will never forget.

A faithful friend is something that everyone should appreciate and cherish, especially when it stands the test of time. The years that pass, like with a wine or a spirit, add a profound depth that words can hardly describe. They add to the dash that is so beautifully described in the poem by Linda Ellis. These years are full of experiences and moments that in my mind will linger. Good, bad and ugly moments that together culminate and form the foundation of the relationship. Benny and I made the best of our relationship and toward the end, we relied on each other a great deal.

He was a loyal and a faithful Maltese with a youthful spark that never left him despite his age. In his youth he would run around the backyard endlessly, at times doing the very quintessential dog thing of chasing his tail. As he matured he grew into his role and became the scruffy alpha dog of the house. He sired a litter, protected his backyard courageously and became an excellent substitute for the doorbell, springing to action as soon as anyone approached the front door. Benny was a part of our family who will be remembered and missed.

Towards the later years, Benny became my “viejito”, my old buddy. All of the common ailments that could affect older dogs were catching up with him. Reduced activity, loosing teeth and a weak heart all presented themselves, but despite that, he did his best to remain the scruffy alpha dog and my faithful friend. My buddy would muster up the strength to be my dog. Things like following me around the house, laying at my feet and being my late night TV buddy when everyone else had gone to sleep became part of our routine. Something that I think we both enjoyed was when he would come up to me and with his eyes, ask me to caress and nuzzle the left side of his face with my hand. Feeling him lean into my hand, close his eyes, get lost and let the sensation of my touch calm and ease him were tender moments that made it clear we were both vulnerable to the reality of change and impermanence. I miss petting him that way.

Memory is a cruel double edged sword that we humans must contend with. It can make the nostalgic moments rich with life as the memories of times past with loved ones magically form in our mental realm. They can also serve as the scourge that lashes our heart when the pain and anguish of sad memories rush into and flood our mental space. I have a bittersweet collection of memories to help me as I continue on. The difficulty will be trying to focus on the pleasant memories without letting the sad ones diminish my acceptance of his undeniable passing.

The truth is that my friend is gone, and I can’t change any part of that. There is nothing I can do to change any part of this truth. I am simply left to remember his companionship, loyalty and lovable nature. I’m lucky to have had such a wonderful animal companion in my life. I look forward to the occasional nostalgic moment every now and then, when we could again sit peacefully and spend sometime together, even if just in the halls of my memory. Rest easy little buddy…